I went round to P’s on Saturday after work.
I’d gotten two or three texts, with P asking if I wanted to come round after work, asking how my day was, etc. Maybe I should be mean and distant more, wondering what’s wrong haha. I didn’t reply to any of them because I was still angry and at work. It’s true what they say,
Be mean, keep ’em keen.
But I don’t want to be a bitch. I went. After a few pleasantries, I pressed for more details on their conversation, which was something to the effect that A asked how P knew me; P didn’t want to make up some elaborate lie, and said we’d been seeing each other for a while, wasn’t sure what it was, but that it was nice.
Then I admitted that I wasn’t happy with P at the moment, and gently shoved P’s knee with my foot. Mature, I know. More like petulant child. P immediately asked why, and I admitted it was going to sound gay, but P was mean to me. And then I backtracked and said it’d taken me a little while to figure out why I was so angry, but it boiled down to:
- I don’t need P to hold my hand because I’m not a child.
- I want P to engage in public physical affection.
- Saying “Toughen up princess” felt like a rejection of my desire for physical affection.
- I dislike “princess” just like I dislike being called “cute”.
P grabbed my hand and said, “I’m really sorry.” And then I gave P a couple of wrapped presents. P laughed and said, “I’m mean to you and you give me presents?” Well.. no. Feelings are transient and all that crap. I know I really like him and my annoyance will fade. New hand warmers and app magnets aren’t anything speccy, but I think they were small and nice. And unexpected. I’m surprised the previous one popped open when Loki batted it off the counter, but oh well.
Cuddles on the couch after, and we’re ok. P came to meet Kesh&Young, Nam and Jeff when we ate lunch today at The Garden in Leederville. I’m surprised, but I guess it’s fair. I met A, P met a bunch of my friends. It’s getting serious. Kesh said this could be the time to back off if I was ever going to do it. I don’t know.