A Very Early Birthday Present

P got me a (red) iPod shuffle!!!!!!!! Well, it wasn’t completely a surprise, since I’d been asked multiple times about the actual day, and my favourite colour, but I am so very happy with it!! Because I need it. The iPod I have from 2008 bounced off the car seat into my oatmeal one morning and now doesn’t charge properly. Besides, it’s clunky.

This new and RED (!!!! :D) iPod shuffle will clip onto my running shirt/shorts quite nicely. Huzzah!!!! I’m so happy. Now an offer this week would make this happiness complete.

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Post Viva

I went over to P’s after steak night at Botanica’s with Zach, Sarah, Jesse, Ted, and Soph. After some cuddles, some fun, and then more cuddles, P asked me what my favourite colour was. It’s been a couple times where I’ve been asked to confirm my birthday date. It’s nice, having someone ask things, knowing it’s for my birthday present. I just wish I could orgasm when we have sex.

I’m not 100% sure I passed viva. Despite getting the problems, it could’ve gone so poorly. Particularly section 1. And the brunette with the nose was scrawling heaps in Section 3. And a bit during my section 4 roleplay. Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
I so very much want an acceptance to Sydney dental. Or UWA. I would be willing to compromise much to get it. I don’t care what they say, it’d be worth it. Consequentialism, the ends justifying the means, it’s worth it. Who gives a fuck about the rest?

Oh shit.

On October 8, 2012, M told me he really liked me. I said, “Oh shit.” continuously. As in, “Oh. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.” and so on.

I deflected it, saying thank you, that it wasn’t practical, and that I wasn’t in a place emotionally where I could have a relationship (though not in so many words).

I couldn’t say, “Sorry, I have a quasi (ersatz?) relationship with the person I lost my virginity to a few days before my birthday. And you’re like a little brother to me.”

Note to self: November 10, 2011. It’s not pathetic that I wrote it down, is it? Nah. Well, maybe it is. Just a bit. Whatever.

I told P and mentioned the little brother thing as my reason. We agreed was difficult, then P related a couple of similar instances. I said I have a thing for redheads, but I’m not going to fuck up the friendship by fucking around.

I feel nothing romantic for M. I won’t lie and say I’m completely averse to messing around, but that would have innumerable consequences. With experience, I think I’ve become significantly more jaded and cynical.